The Art of Giving Encouragement

the art of giving encouragement - 'yes you can' written in the sand

Surprisingly Simple Ways That Encouraging Others Helps You and Them

Encouraging words can ignite a spark of energy for any of us, especially when we’re feeling low, discouraged, or lacking motivation. Even a simple smile from a friend, colleague or co-conspirator can be an acknowledgement that we’re not alone and that someone has our back.

At first glance, these micro-moments may seem too insignificant to hold much importance, but we shouldn’t underestimate the power of encouragement. It helps us find the confidence to do things we might normally only dream of and it builds our self-esteem, motivating us further on our quest.

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Why It Is Important to Encourage Others?

As a leader, parent or teacher, the ability to encourage is an essential part of influencing people. Our encouragement demonstrates our love for and belief in those we care about as a friend or family member.

Regardless of what your relationship is to someone else, giving encouragement reassures them that they have the ability to do something and gives them hope.

Without encouragement, people are less likely to pursue their goals or dreams with the same level of energy and dedication. Indeed, they might not even get off the starting blocks!

What Are the Benefits of Encouragement?

Some people are naturally very driven and highly motivated. Most of us, well… not so!

Encouragement can help us develop our own skills and talents, giving us the confidence we need to take on challenges that might seem too big or intimidating for us to tackle otherwise. It can empower us to achieve things we couldn’t have done without it.

Encouragement is an essential part of getting some people’s arses off the couch and into the gym, or out of a boring, hum-drum job into something more meaningful and challenging, or, away from the Playstation and into a great book instead.

Practical and Everyday Ways to Encourage Others

Here are some ways to authentically encourage those around you.

Praise Effort and Progress

No matter how small, praising others’ attempts and achievements lets them know you admire what they’ve done. It makes them feel valued, respected and appreciated, and it motivates them to achieve or try for more of the same!

Well done!

Let’s not confuse this with empty praise though. Let me give you an example from my own life. I’ve noticed that my mother has recently started to say ‘Well done!’ all the time. I connect her new garden hose for her: “Well done!”. I take the lid off a jar that she couldn’t open: “Well done!”. I make some dog treats for her pitbull chihuahua: “Well done!”.

In all these cases, a simple thank you would suffice. Indeed, more useful praise in this context would be to say ‘Thank you for helping me out, I really appreciate what you do for me’. Otherwise, it just gets to feel like she’s praising me for nothing more than breathing. So that brings me on to my next point…

What to Say to Encourage Others

Find the right words. One of the biggest challenges people face is in knowing what to say. There is no magic formula for giving encouragement, but authentic beats glib anytime.

Be sincere. Imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes and express empathy with their situation, whatever it may be.

Accompany Them

For kids, having their parents come to sporting events or the Christmas Nativity play is important encouragement. Their very presence — just being there — is encouragement. Of course, add to this some heartfelt words afterwards and you’ve nailed it.

Sometimes, all we really need to be able to do something really, really hard, is to have someone by our side.

A beautiful, wonderful friend of mine recently shared that she is an alcoholic. This fantastic woman runs her own business and is incredibly capable. A trusting relationship enables you to open up about very difficult experiences, but having a friend physically by your side is what gets you to the door of Alcoholics Anonymous for the first time.

The art of giving encouragement - 16 simple ways you can encourage others

Be Positive and Uplifting

You only have to turn on the news or look at social media to see negativity: we’re surrounded by people pointing out what’s wrong and judging others. Give encouragement for positive action though, instead of criticism for the lack of it, and you will make people feel better about themselves. They are more likely to accomplish things they may not have been able to do otherwise.

Give Positive Feedback

What someone knows about their own strengths and weaknesses is not always the same as what others see and appreciate. Knowing that you value them helps them see their own value too. You can greatly boost people’s confidence by saying ‘good job’ or ‘you are great at that!’.

Making feedback specific is even better than just saying ‘good job’. How about ‘I think you handled that project very well, despite all the challenges you faced’, or ‘I love the way you helped your sister today’.

Tell Them How They Helped

The best kind of encouragement is when someone acknowledges that you have helped them. Let’s face it, everyone likes to be told they are helpful or productive. Being thanked not only means a lot to us, but it’s also more likely to result in more of the same behaviour.

Smile

Sometimes words aren’t even necessary. Smiles are really powerful.

Consider this: you’re about to run your first ever marathon. You’re at the starting line and your partner catches your eye. He gives you a little nod and a smile. As simple as that.

Or, his face is twisted into a grimace that says ‘’Don’t break anything”.

Which one makes you feel better? Which one will have you sprint off from that starting line, determined to give it your all?

Give Compliments Freely

Was your waiter really attentive at lunch? Say so! In fact, don’t just tell them they are a great waiter, tell their supervisor too.

Genuine compliments are incredibly encouraging.

Send a Card or Letter to Someone Who Needs It

Do you know someone who is going through a hard time or would appreciate encouragement? Send them a card or a little note with some short and simple, touching words.

A hand-written message is always better than an e-mail or text message, but either one will be appreciated by someone who might need encouragement.

Listen

Make your conversation about the person you are talking to, not about yourself. Listen and ask questions. Showing a genuine interest in them will make them feel valued.

Show You Care

Getting through a particularly tough time is easier when you have other people’s encouragement. Earlier this year I lost someone I loved very much. My closest friend rang me every day, sent messages, gave me little gifts and checked in on me constantly.

These loving actions helped me get up in the morning. They encouraged me to continue doing the other things I needed to do, rather than stay in bed all day.

If you know someone going through something challenging, be the encouragement they need: turn up with a coffee from their favourite coffee shop, bring them an inspiring, uplifting book, bake them some cookies.

Follow Up

I have a small circle of friends that always hang out together. When one of us has an interview, a bad day, or needs a hug, we always follow up to see how that person is doing later on. That follow up action keeps us going and is incredibly powerful.

Notice When People Encourage You

Use other people’s encouraging behaviour as an example that you can follow. You might not even be aware of it, but throughout our day there are little moments when a friend, family member or colleague does or says something to encourage us.

When you are encouraged by someone else, remember it and let them know when the encouragement has helped. Try to do some of these same things with the people you come across each day.

Offer Your Help

Telling someone “I’m here if you need me” is great support. Be even more encouraging by being more specific with your offer of help. Try “Would it help if I did … for you?”, or “Can I help you with…?”.

Get The Timing Right

I do a lot of dog training, and timing is crucial when you want to encourage more good behaviour and less of a bad one. The thing is, this is true of people too.

If my dog waits patiently for me to open the door, rather than storm it like we’re on an army operation, I praise her. This encourages her to repeat this in the future.

If your child sits down to do his homework without you nagging, that’s worthy of praise at that moment. Let him know his behaviour is appreciated and he’ll likely repeat it.

It’s the same with our partners, co-workers, neighbours… Just get the timing right.

Encouraging Others Is Good for You Too

Encouragement is a powerful force to have on your side. It can help everyone around you improve their performance and achieve more, including your kids, but it’s good for you too!

Once you start actively trying to be more encouraging, you’ll soon realise that it also has a positive effect on you. Much the same as looking for things to be grateful for, if you go about your day looking for ways you can encourage others, you’ll find it uplifting.

How do you plan to be more encouraging today?

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